Requesting Advice

[stillane]

Hi all.

(Have you figured out yet that when a post starts that way, it's going to be a doozy?)

I have a request to make from all of you. I don't quite know how to put this, and I'm pretty much guaranteed to be incoherent about it, but here goes.


The background info:

Cancer. It's funny that I can type it, because so far I can't say it. I never understood the fear of that word before. No one I knew very well had ever had it, not in the present tense. I knew those who survived and I knew of those who hadn't, but I'd never been around for the diagnostic stage. Intellectually, I got it, and from a biologist's standpoint, I could explain the mechanisms and causes of it, but I never understood the way it can make you freeze up, make you shake so that your teeth rattle, make your chest hurt until you remember to breathe. I could see it, but I couldn't feel it.

I get it now.

I just hung up the phone with my dad. As it turns out, the biopsy that supposedly came back routine and safe and fine wasn't any of those things. My parents couldn't tell me until they'd had some time to deal with it. It seems tonight was the right time. I don't think there is a right time, but I guess this is as good as any.

I have no idea what to do with myself right now. They're saying it'll be okay, that I should stay at school and pay attention to course work and that sort of thing. They're tossing around options and making plans. Apparently, it hasn't spread, and it seems to be in the early stages. I don't know whether I should go home, or wait to hear what the treatment is going to entail, or try to finish out the semester. I just want to know what the odds are. I don't know that I can trust them to tell me.

I don't want to put more pressure on Dad, and I know that dropping it all and coming home now will do that. He'll feel guilty, and I can't add anything on top of all this. I'm also afraid things will go wrong, though, and I'll have wasted time. I have no idea what to do with this.



The important part:

All of this is leading to that favor I mentioned. I need more information on prostate cancer. I've got access to the usual list of treatment options and explanations, but anything you could add would be appreciated. Mostly, it would be good to hear from someone who's been through this, or who knows the ropes. I need to know what I should be listening for, just how scared I should be, what I should be preparing myself for. Anything you can offer would be gratefully accepted.

I'm sorry to bum everyone out, but I really need everyone possible to read this to get the widest information net I can. Thanks for your time and patience.

To those of you who know me well, please bear with me as I space out for the next few days. I'm still too numb to predict how I'll react once it sets in.

Comments

[lachli.livejournal.com]

Hi, I dropped by your journal to read an SPN fic that was recced to me and I caught this post.

My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer over 5 years ago, he was lucky that it was caught early, it was discovered because he'd got a really bad back and they were doing tests on that and inadvertantly discovered the prostate.

He had the prostate taken away and has regular injections, plus radiotherapy. He did really well with it all and the prognosis from the Doctors was always positive, apparently it's a very common cancer in older men and very treatable. My dad was naturally very worried, but go through it all admirably. Five years on he's still doing fine, has regular check ups at the hospital, every six months I think, and barring one small scare which turned out to be nothing, everything has stayed normal. He's 70 this year, still works three days a week, has endless holidays abroad, plays golf and still enjoys his life.

I know it's easy to think the worst when you hear the word cancer, it fills us all with dread, but this is one of the most treatable and we were told it had one of the best success rates. I hope all goes well for your family and I'm sorry for butting in on your journal, but I thought you'd like a positive story :-)

[stillane.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Please don't ever apologize for stopping in to say anything hereabouts, and certainly never when it's something so kind. This was exactly the kind of thing I needed to hear. Having people who've been where we're headed tell me that it isn't all doom and gloom is incredibly reassuring. Please pass along my congratulations to your dad, and thank you again for sharing your story.